24 Mar

This morning I received this beautiful poem from Dani Zuli one my FB Fans at Just Say NO To Toxic Relationships.    It moved me to tears, because I too, experienced some of what she writes about.  With her permission I am sharing it with all of you.  I hope you enjoy it and feel free to leave your comment.


Written by: Dani Zuli (A JSNTTR Fan)

You. You are so lucky. You are so lucky to have someone who loves you and treats you so well. All the friends and family say so. But when the car door shuts, it’s a different story. The verbal vomit begins. Don’t worry, the physical violence comes later. You begin to think about jumping out of a moving vehicle just to escape him. How many times have you looked out the car window wondering if you could survive if you jumped out NOW?

So, it must be YOUR fault. Everyone sees how great a guy he is. And no one would believe you.

I would believe you. I lived it.

Is there something you enjoy? Something you are good at? Gardening, cooking..anything? Isn’t that nice that he takes an interest in it? He learns all about it and starts doing it himself. But only to be better than you at it. Your hobby is now HIS and he has to be the best at everything.

Until you have no more hobbies. No more dreams. You have learned not to get enthusiastic about anything anymore. There must be something wrong with You.

You are living in his shadow. You are not alive anymore.

And the physical violence begins. Well, it already started when he uses his body to block you from entering or exiting the kitchen, just clumsiness, right. Then a hard twist to your wrist when you tried to move his beer from the couch. Only a mistake and he didn’t mean to hurt you.

But now, he bites you—in public -on the face…or on the head where your hair will cover and not leave an incriminating mark. And, of course, it’s your fault. He leans in, as if to give you a kiss, and instead, OUCH! You cry out in pain. But no one saw it.

They only saw him lovingly lean in to kiss you, (isn’t he so cute, he’s the greatest boyfriend ever), and then they look up when they hear your yelp, and see you slap him; push him away, or whatever you do to get away from him. He looks hurt. You’re the bitch.

It’s all done in private. Or, made to appear that You did something wrong.

So, it must be YOUR fault. Everyone sees how great a guy he is. And no one would believe you.

I would believe you. I lived it.


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