Survey: Why Do Women Always Fall For The Wrong Man?

2 Mar

I am curious as to why women always seem to fall for the wrong man???  I would love to have your feedback and then I will post the results on my blog and FB page.  This is a subject that has become near and dear to me as I am trying to understand this myself.  I have not been in very many relationships, so this whole dating thing is interesting to say the least. I certainly do not want to choose the wrong man again – thus I am looking for honest feedback. Please do not hold anything back!  I want to hear it all, the good, the bad and yes the ugly!

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me!

Cheri

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16 Responses to “Survey: Why Do Women Always Fall For The Wrong Man?”

  1. Mary March 2, 2012 at 7:16 pm #

    Hi Cheri!

    Great question!

    I believe women were created by God to nurture…some nurture a little and others take this trait very seriously. So serious it becomes a mission to “fix” others, especially men. (some simply need more help than others 🙂
    It makes a woman feel good if she can “help” (aka fix) another person. It satisfies that nurturing trait we have been blessed with 🙂

    However, it doesn’t always work out as expected! He feels quite satisfied with his issues and does not understand why he needs to be fixed which results in a bigger issue, a fubar (irreparably damaged or bungled) of a situation… which is never pretty.

    Remember the scene in Jerry McGuire when Renee Zellweger’s character is speaking to her sister about why she is seeing Jerry- she says “I love him for the man that he will be one day”. I cringed at that line! This is a good example of a women shaping and molding someone that may not be her match.

    Since God created marriage to last forever, I believe He has the perfect life-mate for each one of us… but are we open to allowing that relationship to develop or are we focused too much on taking control?

    Love ya!
    Mary

    • Ellen March 3, 2012 at 5:21 am #

      Well put! I was one of those fixers. Got burned twice with one man! That’s more than my limit now! So, I have decided to help those who ask for my help! It changed my life and my attitude and added happiness and more meaning! I Volunteer at a Crisis Center.

      • justsaynototoxicrelationships March 3, 2012 at 10:04 am #

        That is wonderful!!! I want to share my story/experience to inspire and encourage women to stay strong!

    • justsaynototoxicrelationships March 3, 2012 at 10:11 am #

      Hi Mary

      You are right! There is that ONE special person for each of us and in God’s timing he will reveal them to us!! We just need to remain patient – not be in a hurry to find love – love will find us when we are ready and healthy!!! AMEN!!!

  2. Kylie March 3, 2012 at 4:41 am #

    I Agree and couldn’t have said it better … “I believe women were created by God (or whatever your belief is) to nurture…some nurture a little and others take this trait very seriously (or it just happens naturally as I believe most women are just naturally nuturing beings!). However, it doesn’t always work out as expected!”

    And then when it doesn’t work out as I expected and I get rejected and I get called things like clingy, needy, drama queen etc and I get told that “I hate people trying to fix me” even though I’m none of these and have not intentionally tried to fix anyone (!) it’s a huge kick in the guts and I get very hurt … I wonder why oh why it didn’t work out cos I gave so much of myself and oh poor me … but I have gone back for more (same guy or new guy) and I keep on nuturing and I keep on getting hurt!

    But now I’m so disallusioned and it’s NO wonder I’m now happily single and nuturing ME !!!

    • justsaynototoxicrelationships March 3, 2012 at 10:09 am #

      Hi Kylie – way to go! What I am learning is that I must love myself FIRST before I can good to anyone else!!!! It’s a self respect thing!!!! Stay on the path you are on!!! HUGS

      • Kylie March 4, 2012 at 3:30 am #

        Thanks … only took me 42 years to get it :)) x

      • Ellen March 4, 2012 at 6:31 am #

        It took me 59!

      • justsaynototoxicrelationships March 5, 2012 at 7:49 am #

        Congratulations Ellen!!!! Better late then never!!!! I am curious though, why do you think it took so long???

      • Ellen March 6, 2012 at 7:56 am #

        I think it took so long because I truly loved and still love him. What I decided o do is that I will never allow his negative eotional behavior and actions allow it to happen to me again. I will only be with a man who Loves and wants to be with me, as well as be in love with me.

      • Mary March 6, 2012 at 8:03 am #

        Amen Ellen!

        Colossians 3:19 (BibleGateway.com)
        “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.”
        Colossians 3:18-20 (in Context) Colossians 3 (Whole Chapter)

      • justsaynototoxicrelationships March 6, 2012 at 8:36 am #

        Wonderful scripture! Thank you Mary – HUGS!!!

      • justsaynototoxicrelationships March 6, 2012 at 8:35 am #

        Hi Ellen

        I could not agree more with you!!! I know my ex was in-love with me – he says I was his “first real love” – however, it turned into an addiction – we had to be “joined at the hip” – which means he was controlling, did not trust me, I don’t understand why he didn’t as I never did anything that would cause him not to – until I started leaving – of course, then I had to protect myself. But I was always faithful till the end. It’s sad – he did not work on himself and got married again less than 4 weeks after our divorce was final!!!

      • justsaynototoxicrelationships March 5, 2012 at 7:49 am #

        Congratulations Kylie!!!! Better late then never!!!! I am curious though, why do you think it took so long???

  3. Kylie March 5, 2012 at 5:01 pm #

    I think it took me so long as I put “his” needs before mine and was so anxious about being rejected AGAIN … low self worth I guess … every time I got rejected and dumped my selfworth went even lower and then my standards naturally went lower … I kept thinking there had to be something wrong with ME!!! Now I realise there is nothing wrong with me … I’m just me and I accept and love everything about me now … if I go through the rest of my life single and doing what I want to do then I’ll be ecstatically happy … I realise now I don’t need a man to make me happy 🙂 x

    • justsaynototoxicrelationships March 6, 2012 at 8:32 am #

      Hi Kylie

      Thank you so much for sharing your story. I can totally relate – I too felt that “his” needs were always more important. It got to a point that I would just go “along” with what “he” wanted in order to “keep the peace” which in the end is what did me in – I no longer knew who “I” was – it was all about him – although he would deny it. I am sure he is the one who felt rejected each time I left, then I went back, which I am sure is because I did not want to “fail” – but with the right counseling I was able to leave – I will be honest it has not been an easy ride – there were many times, I thought I wanted to go back, but I really knew in my heart that I could never go back. I am finally enjoying living on my own even with it’s struggles – I know God has a bigger plan for me, so I am just along for the ride – it’s our experience that makes us wise and much stronger women!!!! HUGS ~ Cheri

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