Setting Solid Boundaries…

2 Jul

Setting Solid Boundaries – 3 Steps For Setting and

Keeping Boundaries in Relationships


Expert Author Shannon E Cook

Do you feel as if you are always depriving yourself in your relationship, or saying yes when you’d really rather say no? If so, you may be struggling with setting and sticking to reasonable boundaries for yourself in your relationship. The fact is, we train others how to treat us, and if we are clear in what we will tolerate and what we can do, as well as what we won’t tolerate and won’t do, we not only take care of ourselves but model self respect to others around us. Here are 3 steps for setting and keeping boundaries in relationships:

1. Become aware of your responses to the requests of others or the treatment you are receiving on a physical level. Are you feeling anxious, pressured, stressed, or do you have tension in a certain part of your body when something feels like too much, or not good for you? Does your stomach turn? Do you have a sinking or helpless feeling? Start becoming attuned to how you individually react when you are presented with requests or behaviors you don’t like.

2. Once you’ve identified these physical signs, begin practicing in your mind how you’d like to respond. Think about your values as a person, and how you would advise yourself if you were outside the situation, looking at it as if it were a movie and yourself a character in it. Apply this model to yourself in these situations. It may feel awkward at first, but respectfully state what you are willing (or not willing) to do.

3. Know that when you change your own behavior, others may need some time to adjust. While you are well aware of your own transformative process, keep in mind that others will initially expect you to continue to react as you have always done – so you may encounter some resistance. This is expected. As others become clearer on your limits, you will find that many people learn to respect this and will impose upon you less. You will also begin to attract others who like you, understand boundaries and are more respectful.

Are you interested in addressing your life challenges from a holistic standpoint, assessing the physical, emotional, and relationship components?

For a free copy of my ebook, “Natural Methods To Fight Depression”, click here:

Shannon Cook is a personal coach and resource guide who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and holistic personal growth, including physical, emotional and relationship health.

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One Response to “Setting Solid Boundaries…”


  1. Boundaries, The Last Frontier! « Walter Kitty's Diary - July 19, 2011

    […] Setting Solid Boundaries… ( […]

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