Are You In A Toxic Relationship ~ Part 3

8 Jun

Repairing bonds the healthy way…

by Ambrosia on May 29, 2011

 

The good news is that some people are able to break the cycles of toxic relationships. Some people leave the toxic partner and form new, healthier bonds. Others are actually able to repair their relationship and stay in it.

Many relationships are salvageable. Sometimes it takes a little space. Other times, it takes counseling. But if both partners make an attempt, it is possible to renew the bonds in a healthy way.

The first thing you need to decide is that the relationship must improve or you’re willing to walk away. If you are not willing to walk away — really walk and keep on going — then, you will never be able to heal that which divides you.

Once you have liberated yourself from the dependency that is at the core of a toxic relationship, you can start to assert what you need from the connection. Don’t nag the other person. Simply say, “I need your support. I need your love,” or “I need your truthful opinion.”

If you don’t get what you need, the other person should know that you’re prepared to walk. You won’t be able to convey that unless you really feel it. If your partner tells you that he or she doesn’t like “ultimatums,” just say you’re stating the facts and you believe in giving fair warning. Do not argue. Stay calm and be prepared to hear harsh words. This person is invested in keeping you low. They may not respond as you would like. It doesn’t matter. Stay calm. Stay resolute. In a sense, you’re fighting for the both of you, because a toxic relationship is unhealthy for both of the two people involved.

A healthy relationship is a two-way street. In a toxic relationship, the street is only going one way. You have the power to change that, but you must take the power into your own hands.

If you must go, then go. Feel good, knowing that you have made a brave and difficult decision. Let your friends help you.

If your partner comes after you, and tries to lure you back, stay strong. Be clear about what you would like changed. And maybe he or she will surprise you. Maybe your partner will want change, too. Then stay apart, but work together, to rebuild your emotional home.

Remember: It’s not just a matter of making up, but making up the right way!

 

http://makinguptherightway.com/toxic-relationships-3-repairing-the-bonds-in-a-healthy-way/

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2 Responses to “Are You In A Toxic Relationship ~ Part 3”

  1. justsaynototoxicrelationships June 16, 2011 at 5:05 am #

    I love this – I am new to blogging – can you explain what a “ping back” is??? I see that your blog showed up when I clicked on your link- Brilliant!! Thank you ! Love all those quotes!

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